


the parts unrecognized (of the things that we’ve become)

by OsleyaKomWonkru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Episode: s07e12 The Stranger, Extended Scene, Fix-It, Gen, Octavia Blake Deserves Better, Octavia has Wisdom, Other Characters Should Listen to Her, POV Octavia Blake, Talking, compassion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26237440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OsleyaKomWonkru/pseuds/OsleyaKomWonkru
Summary: Extended scene from 7x12 with Octavia and Clarke, and Octavia, Clarke and Bellamy."“I thought my brother was dead. And now I find out he’s alive and I don’t recognize him. And the worst part is, I know how that feels because I’ve been in his shoes, and… we need to talk to him, Clarke. We need to make him understand. The way he didn’t do for me. There’s a reason he believes all that nonsense, and we need to find out what it is, and help him see the flaws in that reasoning, and he’ll come out of it himself.”“When did you get so wise?”“I’ve had time. You’ll catch up.” Octavia knocked her shoulder against Clarke’s with a small smile.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	the parts unrecognized (of the things that we’ve become)

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a rewrite of these scenes from 7x12, because it was ridiculous that Octavia was mere decoration for a scene that focused on Bellamy and Clarke, when Octavia's been living with Team Cult for three months, she knows how they work, she knows their dogma, and so on. Octavia deserves better, so as I do, I give her the attention that she deserves.

Their cell was sparse, as Bardo’s cells were. Octavia was no stranger to them, sitting back against one wall and focusing on what precious little about their current situation she could control - herself, and her complicated thoughts and emotions, that in years past would have spilled out of her unchecked, but she’d had time to learn that control, time to put that control to the test even when surrounded by horror. Clarke, on the other hand, was full of nervous energy, Octavia could feel it from across the room, casting glances over to her every so often, but not saying anything.

“I don’t know how you can be so calm.” Clarke finally said. “With everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t think that - it’s like you’re a different person.”

“In many ways I am. It’s been a long time, Clarke. For me.”

“How long?”

“Diyoza, Hope, Echo and I were training as Disciples for three months before you showed up. After we believed Bellamy to be dead. Before that, I’d been a prisoner for weeks, with that short interlude back to Sanctum in the middle of it when Hope had helped me escape from here. And before that… ten years.”

“Ten years? On Penance?”

“We call it Skyring. Just me, Hope and Diyoza. I arrived there the day Diyoza went into labour. I delivered Hope into the world.” Octavia’s calm facade began to crack as her voice wavered. “Those were ten _good_ years, Clarke. We were happy. I had time to heal. Having Hope helped. A lot. And it feels like just yesterday for me, just yesterday that she was our little girl, but years passed for her there after Diyoza and I were taken and now… now she’s messed up like the rest of us. I did everything I could to protect her, and I’d _still_ do anything to keep her safe, but there was so much that was out of my hands.”

Clarke stood up, crossing the floor to sit down next to Octavia, putting an arm around her shoulders as she cried.

“I know the feeling. Everything that happened in Sanctum, my body being stolen, Madi being possessed by Sheidheda… I felt so helpless. I still do. But you - despite everything that’s happened, you seem so strong. And you didn’t tell the Disciples about Madi having the Flame.”

“I didn’t _tell_ them anything.” Octavia sniffed her tears away. “All that they had was what they took in M-Cap.”

“Memory capture?”

“Yeah. I fought them for days. A few stray thoughts, that’s all they got, until… until a thought of Hope slipped out, and I couldn’t let them have that. I couldn’t. I had to protect her. So I made a deal. If Levitt removed their record of Hope, if they let me go back to her, I’d give them what they wanted. I understand now why you did what you did, Clarke. You’d do anything to protect your child. I get that.”

“But you still didn’t give them everything they wanted. Otherwise they would have known Madi had the Flame, and that it had been destroyed.”

“That was all before it was destroyed, but regardless, I wasn’t going to tell them about Madi. They were happy to believe that you had it, and I kept it that way.”

“You protected her too.”

“I always wanted to. I meant what I said, when I welcomed her into Wonkru and made her my second. I know how she felt growing up, the fear of discovery, being the girl under the floor. I could protect her from those who wanted to use her. And in Wonkru, no one would have been a threat to her if she was under my protection. No one was stupid enough to mess with Blodreina.” Octavia smirked. “Besides you and my brother, that is.”

“But you sent that soldier to kill us. After she ascended and I took her away.”

“To kill you. Not her. He was supposed to bring her back and we’d work together to take the valley.”

“After my mother told us what happened in the bunker, and how Madi reminded me of what bearing it so your people don’t have to meant… I understand too. Why you needed out of there.”

“It was a long time ago. But thanks.” Octavia sighed. “It hurt. A lot. And it took me years to make peace with myself. To forgive myself. But Diyoza helped me. And when all is said and done, it gave me the best thing that ever happened to me, so I wouldn’t change anything.”

“Hope.”

“Yeah. Assuming I ever see her again, after what my brother’s done.” Octavia’s lip trembled again. “I thought my brother was dead. And now I find out he’s alive and I don’t recognize him. And the worst part is, I know how that feels because I’ve been in his shoes, and… we need to talk to him, Clarke. We need to make him understand. The way he didn’t do for me. There’s a reason he believes all that nonsense, and we need to find out what it is, and help him see the flaws in that reasoning, and he’ll come out of it himself.”

“When did you get so wise?”

“I’ve had time. You’ll catch up.” Octavia knocked her shoulder against Clarke’s with a small smile.

“So can we call it even now, after all the times we’ve tried to kill each other?”

“Yeah. I forgive you.”

“I forgive you too.”

The two embraced, glad to be at peace with each other for the first time in years that were too difficult to count.

“Clarke?” Octavia asked.

“Yeah?”

“Just remember - because I know you have the drive to fix everything and solve everything - that it’s not just your weight to bear. He’s been through some serious indoctrination. I’ve been living in this world, training as one of them, for three months. I know the tricks, I know the dogma. Please follow my lead this time?”

“Okay.” Clarke smiled. “I trust you.”

Not a moment too soon, as the door to their cell slid open.

Bellamy was there, accompanied by two guards.

Clarke, being Clarke, shot to her feet. “You need backup to talk to us now?”

“It’s okay.” Bellamy motioned the guards out of the room, the door closing behind them.

Octavia stood too, resting a hand on Clarke’s arm, silently reminding her of their deal. Then she circled around to observe her brother. His blank look, hiding some kind of pain. It was time to find out what that pain was.

“What happened to you, Bell?” Octavia asked softly.

“I had an experience, something that changed me to my core, something that explains why we’re still here and where we’re going. It came to me in a vision. Mom was there. The Shepherd led me to her. And there was a light, and it was beautiful. And warm and peaceful, and I chose it, and when I opened my eyes, the storm had passed, just like that.”

“Where were you when you had that vision? Things looked pretty rough when you came in.”

“We were trapped in a cave in a mountain. Trapped in there for months because of a snowstorm.”

“The Cave of Ascent.” Octavia had done her reading.

“Yes. So you know what I’m talking about, O. You know the Shepherd’s teachings.”

“I do. I trained as a Disciple for three months.”

“But you don’t believe.”

“I believe you believe. But it’s not as simple as all that.”

“You don’t believe I had a vision of what the world could look like? Or of Mom? I saw her, O. I know that was real.”

“Bell, the reason you saw Mom is because they wanted you to see her.”

“How? How would they know what she looked like?”

“My memories. That’s where they got her for you.”

“Why would the Disciples know your memories?”

“That’s why they brought me here in the first place.”

“They put you in M-Cap?”

“Yes. They know everything about how we grew up. They knew just what to use to get you on the hook. These people, they know how to use simulations, how to make you see things that aren’t really there. I had to go through them too, in the training we had. Simulation after simulation, to prove that I was dedicated to their cause. I could beat them without believing the cause, because I knew what they were. But you didn’t know that. I’m sorry, big brother. I’m sorry that they did this to you.”

Bellamy thought for a moment, and then shook the thought away. “Simulation or not, that doesn’t matter. That doesn’t change anything. We still believe in a cause. The war to end all wars.”

“How many times have we believed we were fighting the war to end all wars?” Clarke asked. “Fighting a war is a bad way to make peace. You used to believe that.”

“But this is the last one. Win it, and we become the light.”

“We don’t need to _become the light_ to have peace, or warmth, or any of that, Bell.” Octavia said. “I had peace. And I believe that we can all have that again without another war.”

“O, six months ago you were fighting a war over the last survivable land on Earth.”

“No. Six months ago I was living in peace with my child and my best friend. My sister. We were happy. _These_ people stole it away from me in pursuit of _their_ war.”

“What are you talking about?”

“After I went into the Anomaly the first time. I was gone for much longer than a few seconds. I’d forgotten it all when I returned to Sanctum because of time dilation, but - but I was happy there. I arrived on Skyring - what the Disciples call Penance - the day that Diyoza went into labour. I helped her give birth to Hope. We lived there for ten years. Ten good and happy and peaceful years, just the three of us.”

“But what does that have to do with the Shepherd?”

“I still tried getting back to you for six years. To warn you about the Primes, to tell you - tell you that I understood what it was like to care for a child so deeply that you’d do anything for them. When I gave up trying to get to the Anomaly, I sent you a message in a bottle, telling you all of that, but - it must have ended up here instead. Told them we were there.” Octavia tried to sniff away her tears, but one rolled down her cheek instead.

“If the Disciples cared about peace, if they truly cared about all mankind, they would have come peacefully to Skyring and talked to us about what we knew and how we could help them. Instead they fired lasers at my best friend and kidnapped us from our home, taking us away from our child for what was over a decade for her because of the time dilation. Fifteen years where Hope spent every moment focused on getting us back. Fifteen years where anger and hate and revenge grew in her heart. And now Diyoza’s _dead_ because she sacrificed herself so that the vengeance in Hope’s heart wouldn’t destroy her soul by doing something horrific she couldn’t take back.”

Octavia stepped directly into Bellamy’s personal space, her green eyes boring into those familiar brown eyes that were now worn by a stranger. “These people stole my child’s innocence. Just like you stole Madi’s by putting the Flame in her head.” Octavia cocked her head as she stepped back. “Huh. I guess you’re no different from them after all.”

“That would never have been their intention. And that wasn’t mine either. I just wanted to save everyone, I…” Bellamy looked like he was about to cry, but he took a deep breath and shut it down. Octavia recognized the Disciple techniques well. “But now I am saving everyone, and I can’t favour one person over another to do that. Not to win the last war. That asks more from us. It has to be for all of mankind.”

“Saving all of mankind.” Octavia chuckled. “Right. I remember that. I’ve been there. I’ve tried to do that. Bell, I know what it’s like to shut off your emotions because they make you feel too much so you find solace in feeling nothing. Or believe you’re feeling for all of your people and not favouring any one person over the others. I know what all of that is like. Trust me when I tell you it doesn’t lead anywhere good.”

“Where does it lead, O? If you’re such an expert?”

“It leads to the people you love on their knees with a death sentence on their heads. Like Lincoln. Like you and Indra and Gaia.”

Bellamy closed his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line. “All of you are already up for execution.”

Octavia looked over to Clarke, but her expression hadn’t changed. It was what they’d expected.

“Bell, if you do this, it will stay with you. Trust me. I’ve been here before. _We’ve_ been here before.” Octavia stepped back up to him, resting a hand on his arm. “Ever since you came back from the Ring, you’ve been talking about breaking the cycle of violence. You exiled me from Sanctum because I wouldn’t break the cycle. But now here you are right back in it. Please, stop this. The ends don’t justify the means.”

“There is one thing that can save you. The Flame.” Bellamy pulled away from Octavia, opening his eyes and turning to Clarke. “We think we can repair it. Where is the Flame?”

“I’m not going to tell you.” Clarke said.

“Clarke, please. After it came out of Madi, what happened to it? Who took it?”

“I am **not** going to tell you.” Clarke repeated, with more emphasis.

“Raven didn’t know anything. I hope that you will, and that you’ll tell me.”

“How do you know Raven doesn’t know?” Octavia asked, a sick feeling welling up inside of her.

“They took her to M-Cap.”

“Took her to M-Cap.” Octavia scoffed. “You make it sound so benign. It’s not. It’s a _violation._ I don’t even know for how long they had me in that rig, trying to burn through my mind to find what they wanted. Hours, each day, until I was too weak to even stand. They had to carry me back to my cell.”

“It’s not torture if you don’t fight it.”

“If you have to put someone in that, it is because they’re not just going to tell you. They’re going to fight, just like I did, to protect my child, and hers.” Octavia cast a glance over to Clarke. “It’s torture and you’re choosing it. Remember when you tied Atom to a tree just for kissing me? A kiss that I _wanted?_ I wonder what that Bellamy would say to you now, when you endorse and support the people who spent _weeks_ violating my mind, and are now doing the same to other people you claim to love.”

“The other option is death, what do you want me to do, O?”

“Stop working for them and get us all out of here. Get us to the bridge, then we’ll take care of the rest. Bardo won’t ever be able to bother us again, and we can live in peace with the people we love. They can fight their war without us.”

“But this is a chance for all of mankind to have peace.”

“They had their own peace here before they started messing with us. A peace preparing for a war, sure, but they can learn to live differently. Just like we are. We don’t need to become the light for that.”

“I know how this sounds, but it is real. If told you that the AI that destroyed the Earth was storing our minds in a City of Light, would that be any more believable? What about a group of astronauts turning themselves into gods by transferring their minds into the bodies of their followers in order to live forever?”

“All of that is nuts, yeah. And it was all caused by technology. Just like everything you’ve seen here is. We don’t need a war any more than we needed the City of Light, or the false gods of the Primes, or any of that. All we need is each other. Our families. And the desire to make peace real within ourselves rather than looking for it outside of ourselves.”

“O, you haven’t seen what I’ve seen. You don’t know what we know.”

“Then tell us!” Clarke burst out, both of the Blakes turning to face her. “I’m sorry, but if it is so important, if you want us to cooperate… then why not just show us everything you know? What’s the harm in that?”

“Clarke’s right.” Octavia said, turning back to Bellamy. “I didn’t talk about what happened in the bunker because it hurt. A lot. More than I thought you could conceive of or understand. And if what you experienced on Etherea was like that, I’d get it, I’d understand why you don’t want to talk about it. But you’re saying you saw something incredible. Why wouldn’t you want to share that with us? If you’re right, then why not tell us the truth? Why not take us there?”

“I…” Bellamy appeared to be at a loss for words.

“I know why.” Octavia said gently, taking her brother’s hand in both of hers. “Because a part of you knows that something’s wrong here. Because you know that you went to a place and experienced things that not even most of the Disciples here get to experience - people who grow up believing all of this, yet they’re not considered special enough. If it was so important, then as soon as Echo said that we’d fight with them, they should have sent us through the bridge to that same place that you were. We would have found you, we could have gone through that experience together, seen that light together. But they didn’t do that, because they didn’t need us to be believers. Only you.”

“What are you saying?” Clarke asked.

“They needed him to get to us. That’s the only reason. He was blown into that portal by a grenade, and that’s why we thought he was dead, because I believed the blast had vaporized him. But the reason that portal was there was because I’d demanded that Anders send him back to Sanctum before I’d give them anything else, but I had no way of knowing that was where he would be sent. Anders knew it. It was never his intention to send Bellamy to Sanctum. It was always to send him to Etherea, an environment they could control, so that they could use him against us.”

“None of it was real.” Bellamy whispered to himself.

“Oh, the snowstorms and the mountain and and the hallucinogenic scorpions? That was real.”

“How did you know about the scorpion?”

“One of the kids in our second class on Etherea mentioned them. Levitt told me later that ground up Etherean scorpions are what they use in the IVs for the simulations they put us through. They put your mind in a receptive state, and are supposed to make you believe what you’re seeing is real. However that wasn’t going to work again after the first time, because we knew the tricks. But that first time? Most of us failed too. So I don’t blame you for believing what you saw when you weren’t ready for it. But now you do know the truth. You can make things right.”

“O…”

“Please, Bell. Use whatever power you have and get us out of here. Get enough helmets for all of us, and we can take down the stone, block them from accessing any other planets.”

“They’ll fix it.”

“Maybe. But it will take time. And until they do, we can go to Sanctum, get the rest of our people, and take them home.”

“Where is home?”

“Home is where our families can be together. Where our people can find peace.”

“What even is peace anymore?”

“I’ll show you. I’ll take you to the place I found it.”

“You were really on Penance for ten years?”

“I was. It’s so beautiful, Bell.”

“Then I guess I’m not your big brother anymore.”

“You’re right, you’re not. So how’s about you listen to your big sister’s wisdom and trust in me this time?”

“Yeah, I think I can do that.” Bellamy smiled for the first time since they’d been reunited, and it warmed Octavia’s heart to see it.

They would make it through this.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from “Leave it Alone” and “Resurrection” by Moist.


End file.
